ONSKI'S WORLD

Thanks to DT for these classic albums, and a few that Onski threw in along the way. Also as seen on The Footy Show.

Highly ranked Scientologist David Miscavige is convinced that Tom Cruise will be worshipped like Jesus all over the world as he becomes a prophet for Scientology . Hmmmmm . What is going on? Now I don't claim any religion to be my own but please correct me if I am wrong but allow me to make this statement. In the world of Scientology they do not believe in the 'stories' of Christianity . So this being the case they would not have a belief in Jesus Christ. So why would they compare Tom Cruise to the 'stories' of Jesus Christ. Your thoughts???

Some very cool dogs dressed up. Also check out the Original Yoda Dog at: http://onski.blogspot.com/2006/08/yoda-dog.html Thanks to JM for these great pictures, top work there for your losing your onski.blogspot.com virginity with this one.

Makes me proud to be an Aussie "Hello, is this the police?" "Yes it is. How can we help you?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call." The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Wazza and leave. The phone rings at Wazza's house. "Hey,Wazz, Did the cops come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop up your firewood?" "Yep." “Happy Birthday, maaaaaaaaaate"

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt as though an important part of himself was missing. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44" long." Joe laugh...

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa,....... Go home, you...

Sad News With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the recent death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started. Shut up. You know it's funny. Thanks to PP for this joke (You sick b&stard)

Some silly fruit and vegetable pictures. So stupid they are kinda funny. Thanks to HA for this post.

Sunday 20 th May was the day that RSPCA put on the Million Paws Walk event at Albert Park Lake in Melbourne. A couple of friends (AW & CF) of mine took their dog Ralph (the MAIN MAN of this blog) along to have a look. The walk is a fundraiser for the RSPCA and by the name of it I think they were aiming at 250,000 dogs to attend and by the turnout I saw I think they would have achieved it. The weather was great and the dogs were very well behaved, in fact I didn't see any dog scuffles. Ralph I am told was great and interacted with the other dogs very well. Which surprised his owners as they know he can go a bit crazy when around other dogs. He seems to get a tad too excited and jumps uncontrollably. Ralph and my friends had a great day and will be back again next year, thanks to RSPCA for putting on the event, and everyone for turning up.

I probably shouldn't mess with the Lord but these Church Signs are put on my site with that the believe that God has a sense of humour. Thanks to PP for these comedic signs from above.