ONSKI'S WORLD

Hard to read but you can click to make it a bit bigger. Thanks to MS, MH, NW and Facebook groups for these pictures.

Actress turned poker player Shannon Elizabeth (the hot chick Nadia from American Pie, and 'Poo-Poo Kitty F***' from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) was running a little late for the tournament. Coming through the door into the Las Vegas Room, she was stopped by a security officer and asked to produce some photo ID. She smiled politely and obliged. The scene was reminiscent of when Phil Ivey was asked for ID during the Aussie Millions (he was standing next to a 6 foot advertisement of himself at the time!). Obviously, the security department are not Poker fans! Now more importantly that that we turn to the handsome young man next to her. Known as Chip Canavan. Reports are he was batting away her advances all day. She could not get enough of the young man, but he resisted all her attempts. Nice work Canna!!! Thanks to http://www.crown.pokernews.com/live-reporting/blog-tags/Shannon+Elizabeth/ and MH for the news.

Thanks to MH for this fine advert find. (PS. I dont drink beer honey!!)

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'. Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, 'Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious.' 'Well done, Roland,' says the teacher. 'Can anyone else try?' Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, 'My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious.' 'Well done, Katie,' says the teacher. Anyone else?' Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, 'Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious.' Thanks to MH for his short and simple joke.

For the world snorting record. And after training he managed to catch up with friends looking ready for the new season to come. Thanks to MH for this fine but sad image of a great player. Maybe he is just tired, but lucky he is wearing a white shirt. He learnt his lesson after running from the cops with coke all over his colourful t-shirt.

Thanks to MH for this incredible closeup of one of natures greatest creatures.

Attached is the form guide from Tuesday's Herald-Sun. Check out Race 3 - Horses 11 and 12. As you can imagine, there was plenty of hilarity when the race caller read through the starting line up!! Thanks to MH for this honest classic.

Thanks to MH for this, pretty quick hey??

MH providing the laughs.