ONSKI'S WORLD

Seems a sheep farmer was puzzled about the disappearance of some sheep on his farm. After a few Weeks the farmer decided to put up an electric fence. About a week later, this is what he found! Now, I know we've all heard of people being eaten by snakes & I bet most of us have said, "If a snake tried to eat me, I'd blah, blah, blah & get away. Well, this is a Python & they're extremely aggressive & have a few teeth that they use to hold their prey while they wrap around them & then constrict. Could you get away if this one bit you & held on with it's "few teeth?" (Note: the wires are 10 inches apart.)

My comments as posted on www.theage.com.au Photo: Simon O'Dwyer (as posted on The Age website) The trains are in shambles, so much so that I get angry when the trains are on time. I base my day around the trains being delayed. I leave work at 5:00 knowing full well I will have no problem catching the 5:01. Is this right? Hell no! I stand on the platform at 830am about to board a train to go to the city. I see up to four trains going the other direction, all empty. While the few going city bound are full to the brim. I know you need to circulate the trains but come on, that is a waste. The cynical me would say they just send a whole heap of empty trains outbound to ensure they increase the percentage of trains arriving on time. Shame on me for thinking they would ever consider such a thing. Hey hey, whats that smell? Oh it is the body odur of that person next to me. Surely in an air conditioned train you shouldnt be sweating. But hang on the air conditioner isnt blowing. Turn it on...

In a shocking news story to break the hearts of many, Jager Bombs and Shotties have been banned in the Australian town of Newcastle. Many would say that that Newcastle is a city, but now it has no Jager and shotties I wouldnt even have it on the map. You suck Newcastle. Dont they realise that Jager is good for your digestive system. It is a healthy drink, ban that energy drink called 'Mother' instead, man that drink is terrible. To read more head to: http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7007314607 Thanks to DM for this sad, sad news for Newcastle.

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump shoved up his bum. Onski found this in his old emails.

Another Classic from DT, Click this to enlarge.

"I don't really care,'' he insisted. "Back home fans used to throw baseball (bats) at me. They used to try to kill me back home, that's why I don't even care.'' - Darko Milicic the 7foot centre from Serbia-Montenegro who was picked number 2 in the 2003 draft by the Detroit Pistons, never performed (really wasnt given a chance) and then was traded to the Orlando Magic. He is now performing and yesterday he returned to Detroit to play in a playoff match. He recieved some jeers and boo's from the crowd to which he responded the above quote.

Unless a comet hits the earth in the next few weeks, Kevin Durant will be an NBA player next year. He announced today that he is nominating for the NBA draft after just 1 year at the Texas Longhorns. New NBA age limit rules that prevented him from entering the Draft last year, but that just heightened anticipation as he rocked the College Hoops scene and was awarded the John Wooden Award trophy and the Associated Press Player of the Year. He will leave the College League with stats of 25.8 Points and 11.1 Rebounds per game. With some huge games under his belt including a 37 point, 23 rebound game against Texas A&M in early Feb 07. Now their are two questions. Will he or Greg Oden (7 Foot monster from Ohio State) be the Number 1 draft pick? Greg Oden was touted before the season as the player to watch. His season wasnt as good as expected statistically but he led his team to the NCAA Final where they eventually went down to the Florida Gators. Wherever Greg goes he will be a centre...

Loyal fan Diego B has pointed me in the direction of a real news story, Wireless Power!! Power Travels using Radio Waves and turns it into DC Voltage. It will be a great way to save money on those batteries and maybe keep your mobile phone fully charged all the time. Check the story out at: http://money.cnn.com/magazines/business2/business2_archive/2007/04/01/8403349/ Thanks to DB and RT for the story.

Story I got sent from a person living in Western Australia (so it must be true right???). For you out of towners here is the low down. Benny Cousin is a champion Australian Footballer, who is suspected of being on drugs, namely Cocaine and Ice. This is all rumor so nothing I say is 100% fact and wont hold up in court. But here goes. A dude who was with Sammy NEWMON and I got the lowdown over Benny COUSIN. Sammy said that last week Benny COUSIN ex girlfriend went to West Coast player Andy EMBLIY's joint trying to find where COUSIN was living. EMBLEY who is one of COUSIN best mate claimed he didn't know. EMBLIY's girlfriend was there and told COUSIN girlfriend that EMBLIY knew and was lying. EMBLIY wimped it and said that COUSINS was living with Dan CHICKEN. EMBLIY agreed to drive both girls to CHICKEN's address. When they get there they find CHICKEN and COUSIN in the raw with about 6 other girls and a table full of cocaine. CHICKEN cracked it with EMBLIY for bringing the...