UK Classifieds

UK CLASSIFIED ADS

You have to love British humour!
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker. Billy Connolly -
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living Colour - Melbourne Tuesday 16/05/2006

Image
LIVING COLOUR CONCERT REVIEW Metro Melbourne 16/05/2006 I will start with 'Oh my god!!!' I will second that with 'Oh my god, oh my god!!!' Last night in bed I couldn't sleep, I was excited about the up and coming Living Colour concert I was going to on Thursday night. For the past 16 years I have been waiting for this day, you see I missed out on their concert back in 1990 as I wasn’t really aware of them and just got onto them after that concert came and went. In the 90's they broke up and my dream was gone.... Then a few years back Living Colour broke the separation and got it on... There was hope for me to see them once again. But realistically I had no hope, they were doing the US rounds, and the occasional European rounds but it seemed that Oz wasn’t on the radar. That was until a couple of weeks back I saw, just by chance in the Herald Sun, the news I had been waiting for, Living Colour were coming to town. I do have to give credit where credit is due. A
Read more

15 Men Bashing Comments

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies. 2 What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13. If he asks what sort of books you'
Read more