ONSKI'S WORLD

THIS NEEDS SOUND for full effect. To watch this please follow the rule below: 1. Turn up sound. 2. Press play. 3. Fall over laughing (this will be uncontrollable) 4. Wipe the tears from your eyes. 5. Repeat Steps 1-4 It goes for a 44 seconds and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this amazingly funny clip.

Dante - I'm not even supposed to be here today! Randal - Salsa Shark, we're gonna need a bigger boat. Jay - Noich Noich, Noich Silent Bob -............... CLERKS II - The Passion of the Clerks is coming August 31st to Australia!!! (www.viewaskew.com) (www.clerks2.com) (www.newsaskew.com) For those of your fortunate enough to see the original and best movie of all time (Clerks) from the King Kevin Smith, you will be glad to hear that Clerks 2 is on its way to Australia very soon. It is going to be awesome so check it out. Here is a trailer For those of you who havent seen the original Clerks, watch it now, watch it now, watch it now. I am serious it is awesome, the funniest movie of all time. Here is the trailer for the original (Yes it is in Black and White but dont let that put your off, there are reasons which I would be happy to let you know why, just ask!)

This is the Grammy Award winning hard rock song by Living Colour, man this song rocks. Pump it loud!!! It goes for a few minutes and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this amazing song.

This was my first experience ever of Fishbone and from then on I loved the band, check out the song and film clip that changed my life forever. It goes for a couple of minutes and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this amazing song.

Fishbone are one of my musical gods, watch them as they perform one of their hits, Sunless Saturday. It goes for a couple of minutes and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this amazing song.

Yes this was against my team, The San Antonio Spurs, but it was arguaably the most amazing solo performances in the history of the NBA. The man just lit it up to win the game. It goes for just over a minute and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this amazing half minute of basketball and similar feats.

Starring: Jim Carrey - As the Dating Game host Jamie Fox (Academy Award Winner) - As Wanda the Ugly Woman If you dont laugh your ass off with this there is a problem with you, it is the funniest skit I have ever seen on TV. It makes me cry when I watch it cause I laugh so hard. Please please please watch it, your life will be complete once you do. It goes for just over 8 minutes and you may need to sign up to YouTube.com to watch it. Trust me it is worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this Champagne Comedy.

Chicago Bulls @ LA Lakers Finals Series This is my favourite shot of all time. I was in LA at the time supporting the Bulls from my LA hotel room. To make a shot like this in the regular season is awesome, to do it in the Finals Series is Legendary. Jordan is the greatest. Let me know your favourite moves of all time?

Crash Test of a Smart Car.... Surprising Results. Leave your comments, would love to hear them.

You just have to watch this movie it is a hoot.... Leave your comments, would love to hear them.

Right on the dot. The Virgin Blue flight from Melbourne to Brisbane arrived spot on time. I made my way to baggage collection. The madly packed bag of mine was 3rd off the carosel and I was in the Car Rental queue by 10:08am. Not bad as the plane arrived in Brisbane at 10:00am. I was in a great mood and ready for a doosie of a weekend. Why was I here? The mighty Brisbane Lions of course. For many years my bud Big Pat and I had been saying we would venture up to Brisbane to see our beloved Lions play at the Gabbatoir (The Gabba or Brisbane Cricket Ground for those not in the know) Having arrived at 10am gave me time to grab the hire car, drop my bags off in the boot, grab a bite to eat, visit the gentlemans and have a bit of shut eye before Big Pat and his lovely wife, PK, arrived at 11am. They arrived about 11:30, hence why I flew Virgin Blue instead of Qantas. Plus the air hostesses are better on Virgin Blue. They are so much more efficient and hard working. ;-) They arrived we jumped

5:55am Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.......yaaaawwwwwnnnnn...........stretch.........hmmmm what time is it?? Hang on the clock says 5:56am, the alarm was set for 4:30am, why am I still in bed? Why didnt I hear the alarm? I even set it to do that annoying NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH. No chance I slept through 1 hour of that, but I must have. I have an 8am flight to catch!!! Oh shit. I had been staying in Dandenong looking after Ralph while Theresa was away in Thailand, but now it was my turn to head on a plane, up to Sunny Brisbane for the weekend. I had gone to bed late the night before and wanted to do the final tidy up before I left but there wasnt really time for that. I HADNT EVEN PACKED!! I grabbed a whole heap of clothes and chucked them in a bag. Locks, locks those damn drug couriers arent putting stuff in my bags I had to find some locks. Scrounging around I found a couple of locks and keys and rammed them through the zipper. Everything was secure. Now to get myself ready, I

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer." The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happen ed to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men a

Coming Soon......

When you think of poker you think of gambling, am I right?? Well how about a way of playing poker and not gambling, what would poker be then? It would be just like every other hobbie/sport out there and it is simple fun that everyone can do. The other night I ventured out into the cold Melbourne night to try my hand at playing poker in the Australian Poker League . There are tournaments held every night of the week and guess what? They are free to enter. So being a poker league virgin I joined some seasoned pro's in Chips, Short Stack, Kings and Aces at this event. It was held at 'The Meeting Place' in Elizabeth Street in the city, a pokie place and cheap eatery. I arrived to find Chips, Short Stack and Kings already there. I filled in a simple registration form, got my league identity tag and I was now part of the league, simple. 'The Meeting Place' was rather basic inside but a word to the beer lovers, $3 Crownies from 5pm onwards. I dont really drink beer but hey