Monday, February 12, 2007

Jokes for Blokes

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
_____
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

_____
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
_____

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
_____

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
_____

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
_____

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
_____

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
_____

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
_____

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
_____

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
_____

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
_____

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Thanks to TB for her jokes.

No comments: